The Joy of Our Adoption

Posted by Marcia Lee Laycock

I am very pleased to host historical novelist Christine Lindsay today for our Sunday devotional. Be Blessed.

Christian Author, Christine Lindsay

God had done an
awesome thing. After twenty years of praying, I was going to be reunited with my
first-born child that I had relinquished to adoption when she was three days
old.
Sarah was a
beautiful, well-adjusted, and happy young woman studying to be a nurse and
planning her wedding to a wonderful guy. This was exactly what I had wanted for
Sarah all those years ago when I was an unmarried mother and couldn’t provide
for her. The door to future get-togethers for Sarah and I was sort of open. By
all standards our adoption reunion had been a success.

So why was I so angry with God?

In adoption reunion books my trauma was explained as the cold and clinical
stage of negotiating the birthmother role. I wanted to throw the book
across the room.

This reunion was
not what I had envisioned as I had prayed. Sarah and I were total strangers,
and it was clear it would take a long time to build the relationship I yearned
for. But that wasn’t what hurt the most.
Sarah’s parents did
not want to meet me. They were hurting so badly that they stayed at home while
Sarah I were reunited.

Twenty years earlier I had chosen this Christian couple from a portfolio, a
couple who would raise Sarah to love the Lord Jesus. They had done exactly what
I had prayed for. But each day that I had prayed for Sarah, I had prayed for
her parents too. They were her mom and dad—how could I not love them? And, I
thought, since we all love the same Lord, surely they will want to meet me and
have a friendship with me when Sarah becomes an adult.  

But their hurt over
the reunion, hurt me in return.
Sarah blessed me
when she told me that she had never felt rejected like many adoptive kids feel.
She knew that I had relinquished her out of sacrificial love.
But now it was me, as her birthmother, that was
feeling rejected. My
self-pity disgusted me.
Months after the
reunion, I was alone one afternoon. My house was quiet, my husband at work, our
three kids at school. I went to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. As I reached
for the kettle the dam burst and I cried, and I felt the Lord’s voice, I
have never forgotten you
.
I set the kettle
down. Each year around Sarah’s birthday when I was missing her, I had felt the Lord’s
comfort in amazing ways. The verse that I’d claimed as my life’s motto came to
mind.

Isaiah 49:15, 16a “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast
and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may
forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my
hands . . .”

I lifted my face to receive
my Father’s love.

For years I’d prayed to
be brought visibly back into the triad of Sarah’s adoption, but God had done even
better. He had brought me back full circle to His love. I was His child.
Nothing could ever separate me from Him.
****

Christine Lindsay writes historical
inspirational novels with strong love stories. Her debut novel SHADOWED IN SILK
is set in British Colonial India during a turbulent era. Christine and her
birthdaughter Sarah enjoy a warm and close friendship 12 years after their
adoption reunion, and Sarah was happy to be the model on the front cover of
Shadowed in Silk, and in the book trailer.

SHADOWED
IN SILK
was the Gold winner of the 2009
ACFW Genesis for Historical Fiction. The Pacific coast of Canada, about 200 miles north
of Seattle, is Christine’s home where she lives with her husband and grown up
family.

Visit Christine’s website