list of comments I’ve received over the past years since I’ve come out as a
writer. Following each is what I wanted to say. I’m happy to report that I’ve
never (at least until now) given in to the temptation.
to NEVER Say to a Writer!
- 1. Are you
published? (I really don’t have the space here to get into this. I usually just
do a mental eye-roll.)
- 2. I have
an idea for something you should write about. We could split the profits.
(yeah, I do all the work and you get half of almost nothing. Sounds like a deal
- 3. I wrote
a book, can you contact your publisher/agent for me? (You really wouldn’t like
what I had to say about you.)
- 4. Why don’t you
take the day off, it’s not like you work for a living. (unprintable reply)
- 5. Can I
read your manuscript? (Like I don’t have enough stress in my life already)
- 6. Writing
must be the easiest job in the world. (If you like 20-hour days, pennies per
hour, horrific critiques, and serving up your heart for others to chew on
- 7. Anyone
can write a book, what else do you do? (see number 6)
- 8. You
should get that published. (Really? Like I hadn’t thought of that.)
- 9. I’ve heard
that if you….you’ll be a much better writer. (Nothing I like better than advice
from someone who has no clue.)
- 10. Aren’t
you finished with that yet? (I am, I just decided not to submit it.)
- 11. I hate
reading, it’s such a waste of time. (unprintable reply)
- 12. Have
you ever written anything I might have read? (Yes, if morons could read.)
- 13. Will
you read my manuscript? (*running and screaming in the other direction*)
- 14. Are
you still doing that writing thing? (Believe me, if I could quit, I would.)
- 15. When
can I get your book for free? (What part of “I do this for a living” do you not
- 16. Can you
edit/write my essay for me? (I write commercially, not academically. There is a
- 17. Will
you make me a character? (Only if I can kill you.)
- 18. What
do you do with all your spare time? (in the vein of number 17, why don’t you
come over and find out…)
Writing, can you make a living at that?
Writing, it must be nice to make so much money for not doing anything.
you all to share your experiences with funny responses as the people around you
commented on your writing life.
Edie Melson is the author of four books, as well as a freelance editor with years of experience in the publishing industry. Her popular blog, The Write Conversation, reaches thousands of writers each month, and she’s the co-director of the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference. Her bestselling ebook on social media has just been updated and re-released as Connections: Social Media & Networking Techniques for Writers. She’s the Social Media Mentor at My Book Therapy and the social media director for Southern Writers Magazine. You can connect with Edie through Twitter and Facebook.