Things You’ll Never Hear a Writer Say

Yippee! Another rejection! Think I’ll pin this one. My rejection board has been looking a little sparse.

Really? It’s been only six months since I sent you that proposal? Gosh, I totally lost track of time. 

No thanks, Thomas Nelson and Tyndale. Great offers, but really…I’d rather just put my stuff on Smashwords.

I earned another one-star on Amazon for my latest release? Yee-haw! Scathing reviews are my favorites, especially the ones that flay the skin off my bones.

Of course I’d like to cut my manuscript by 25k, throw in a new plot twist, add a major character, and get that back to you by the end of the week. Not a problem. I can skip my grandmother’s funeral.

Sweet! I love being at the bottom of the slush pile. So much cozier. Why, I feel like a babe in arms, all swaddled tight like that.

Contracts make me nervous. I sure hope I never have to sign one or I’ll be swigging back Benadryl to stave off the ol’ hives. 

Whew. Glad I’m so good at telling instead of showing. Hmm. Maybe I could teach a workshop. Surely there’s a conference around here somewhere that could use a brilliant class like this.

I didn’t really want to win that award anyway. It totally does NOT match my dress.

How thoughtful of you to tell me why my characters are all one-dimensional and that you think my plot was written by a twelve-year-old. You rock!

Michelle Griep’s been writing since she first discovered blank wall space and Crayolas…professionally, however, for the past 10 years. Her latest release, A HEART DECEIVED, is available by David C. Cook. You can find her at:
Writer Off the Leash,

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